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"Let me tell you" - rusty1131 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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"Let me tell you" [Sep. 12th, 2006|09:17 pm]
i think i was wrong about this whole livejournal thing. Sure, some people like the pity they get from friends when they write about how they think there life sucks. Then other people just like it because its...well their journal.

well i feel like writing so thats what im going to do.

lately i've been kind of depressed. Though i'll never admit it if you asked. sometimes i feel like i don't have real friends. It may sound silly but i feel like no one really knows "the real" me. Now you may say im being stupid, but how can you know the real me if i don't even know me.

I have too many feelings about too many things. I want to find someone i can share them with. For too long i've always hid a piece of myself for fear that it wounld'nt be understood. i feel like im more then one person. im always changing to my surroundings. i act different around one group of people then i do others. i want to know the real me. i guess i find him when i write.

I sometimes i feel that im being measured by other people. i dont mind really. sometimes i like to see peoples ignorance. i see people who are afraid to hang out with, or even talk to someone cause they think they're better then that one person. But then again, no one really stops and trys to understand a person. be it a friend or peer.

i try not to measure people. to put one person above someone else. but at the same time i feel like im always below the "top 8". i just wish i had the feeling of being someones number one again. someone who's interested in what i have to say.

but then again, this is growing up isnt it. life wouldnt be as great if i didnt feel like shit sometimes.

[User Picture]From: mightymouse44
2006-09-13 01:54 am (UTC)
I think everyone feels like that at one point or another. I felt sad today too, blame the weather. :) I'm always here for you Joey.
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[User Picture]From: partyingarth
2006-09-13 02:48 am (UTC)
I'm sorry.

I'm gay.

I wish you felt better.
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[User Picture]From: spankyggg
2006-09-14 09:18 pm (UTC)
jeez joe, way to vent. eh eh ;) 0o0o0o0 mannn you gotta be around more f00, when i get a car ill be all ova da place like off da h00k y0, word. and then i can be your #1 "real" friend. eh eh eh.
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[User Picture]From: rusty1131
2006-09-15 12:11 am (UTC)
my best friend is ice.......ice
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[User Picture]From: brando417
2006-09-15 10:55 am (UTC)
FUCK what people think.
If your friends can't accept for who you really are then they arent friends, are they?
You just have no self esteem.
Which I don't understand.Youre very talented, I'm not sure if youre stupid or not, but I don't think you are. and you're funny. remember when you ripped your pants freshman year? that was great.
But yeah, it seems like part of the problem is you, because you never talk, or try to make friends. I don't know that for a fact, but i'm assuming. I seem like I hate everybody but if someone came up to me, and said hi, i would say hi back. It worth a try.
It's like 7:00 in the morning. I don't know what I'm saying.
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[User Picture]From: rusty1131
2006-09-16 04:48 am (UTC)
Thanks, your right. but i talk all the time. just not in school. plus 3rd hour sucks cause i hate the teacher. im glad we're still alright. we havent talked (i mean really talked) in some time.
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[User Picture]From: brando417
2006-09-17 09:02 pm (UTC)
You dont need to be a smartass dickhead.
I was kidding when I said you were quiet.
Well not really. But you are sometimes.
Mrs.swiderski is crazy hahahah. Just watching her talk is so funny.
But yeah, she's pretty gay.
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[User Picture]From: rusty1131
2006-09-18 01:06 am (UTC)
lol how was i a dick head? i didnt mean to come off that way.
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