||[Jan. 22nd, 2011|04:55 pm]
Once I think I'm done with you, YOU PULL ME BACK IN! Bastard livejournal...understanding me like NO ONE ELSE! |
Well my life seems to be in a rut...again, hence the 12 year old girl livejournal rant. Anyway, following some of your dreams sucks sometimes. At least I'm making progress with one of them. The one that will feed me in the future. But the other dream I have will make that food taste better in a way. P.S if anyone is reading this I'm going to keep it impossibly vague so just give up...also livejournal is so middle school you loser.
I don't have any important friends any more. Don't let my facebook fool you, in real life I don't have 105 friends. Seems I drive them away. But Mama always said "stick to what you're good at" and DAMN I'm good.
I don't think it's all my fault. Then again me thinking of what I should put after the previous sentence and coming up with zero says a lot more. I'm just not really all that important. Not to say that I'm unimportant, just NOT ALL that important. Sure when you need me to move something with my dad's truck or need a ride somewhere with my car that's always magically filled with fossil fuel, I'm the first one to call.
I should write a book on how to keep relationships. Then when you buy it (and you would) I would have all my ex girlfriends compile the introduction explaining how you should do the exact opposite of anything I say. At least then some good would come out of me. Also everyone could have a good chuckle at my awesome grammar...or lack there of.
I wish things were different. I wish I didn't feel this way almost all the time. But it hasn't stopped me from moving forward yet. They may be baby steps but the way they are going is all that matters to me.
"Man's real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so."
I expect my life to be happy someday too. I've been wrong before. I'm good at being wrong.
Also if there's is anyone reading this then do us both a favor and never bring this up. I don't mind people being in my head (not to say I have more than me in there). If anyone feels this way than just take solace in knowing you're not alone. Or just be thankful you're not me right now. Schadenfreude. Thank you and GOODNIGHT! Don't forget to tip you waitress and I'll be here till Thursday.